what to do with feelings n emotions

only d title looks great but actually i am going to write on a small matter concerning the heart.. kenapa kita selalu sakit hati tentang perkara yg kecil2.. kenapa kita tiba2 jd marah sedangkan kita dah plan nak jd baik? kenapa perasaan kita mudah sangat terusik dgn perbuatan seseorang?TAPI yg paling teruk sekali, ramai di antara kita tak boleh nk sampaikan dan beritahu perkara sebenar SEDANGKAN perkara itu acap kali berlaku?

ramai orang tidak sanggup untk menanggung risiko akibat drpd berterus terang..i have told d truth once....see what happened to me..

well well what do you know

A call I received today was it. hei I got it lah hehehe

Suddenly I was inspired

I nearly got a broken heart today. But due to my good fortune, it only missed my heart by seconds. Ha3 luck is still on my side, thank God.
After making the call, my heart dropped into pieces. I had missed the train. The thing that I was looking for was out of stock. What? The advertisement just came out yesterday but it was launched in 2008. How come i did not know about it earlier? Before this my heart was not set on any of the choices given to me. There was always something not right or not up to my taste or standard. The preference was only so so. But then the moment i saw it the other day, I really liked it. it fits all the criteria I was looking for. ha3.
The next call i got still did not show any signs of hope for me. Oh dear, It seems I have to give up on it.I feel frustrated......

Bored with what to wear at my age

Actually I want to start writing right away but I have to pause awhile to focus on a keroncong song that is on now hahaha...it has such a melodious tune that it is distracting me..it really is captivating  and relaxing and harmonious wow. Well what do you know the whole program is on keroncong songs best lah. Rasa nak nyanyi sama tapi suara tak best ...........nanti ade orang sakit telinga pulak

Tak tahu lah tapi tiba-tiba rasa macam tak de baju nak pakai. Baju tak rosak atau buruk atau hilang tapi, tapi.. Last time all my clothes were baju kurung and kebaya. Then I had a few kurung moden. These were all the fashion that i restrict myself to. It is only lately that i tried out some blouses and long skirts. I mix and match. Suddenly I found out to my surprise that I could match many items , funny isn"t it. How come last time I did not do that? Weird isn"t it. Why suddenly out of the blue I want to change my style? I think i was slightly influenced by my other half. He likes to pass comments on my dressing. Maybe I look so plain. Well all this while I have been  a simple person. The truth is, I know nothing about fashion or trend. I am utterly and totally blind about fashion. I do not walk on the catwalk so style and trend does not apply. I do walk along the school corridor and in class though. Hei, not forgetting I do stand on the stage in the school hall. Then it dawned upon me that the students that i teach are my audience. They are all eyes at what you do and put on. They make comments spontaneously and truthfully. They notice every single clothing and accessories that teachers adorn. Models only display fashion during shows but teachers are models every second, Wow is that great or scaryyyyy.... 


Gee I do not know whether I am happy, glad or sad with this discovery! Not a great discovery but now I find it quite disturbing. Now why is that so...First of all, my tudung collection is very, very limited..I will let you in on a little secret..haha i have less than 20 pieces. So what does that leave me...terribly, terribly difficult to match my kurung and kebaya. So I just apply my own strategy. As long as it is the same colour, irrelevant of the tone, i works fine with me heh heh. Nobody is going to give me grades right? it is not a sin to run out of the range of colour. after all, what to do sometimes I am kedekut to fork out money to buy new tudung. Kalau makan kenyang kan , teruknye..

If you think my tudung collection is limited, my shoe collection is worst. I like to keep to one shoe, I am that type of person. But now I have broken the rule , no actually bend the rule a bit. I have in my possession 2 shoes and I  sandal. The sandal is red. I just love it. I could easily match it with blue, yellow, purple or other colours of my socks actually.. No pantang whatsoever on the colour of the socks. Amazing isn't it. I never know red can blend into just any colour. Another new discovery hehehe...puas hati

I'm still here n going strong

Yes L know it, why the sudden silence and disapperance? You know sometimes I got lots of stuff and ideas to share but time does not permit. So you people have to bear with me when i suddenly disappear okay...

These past week has been a really hectic and busy and torturing days, When you have to give marks to students memang waktu yg amat menyeksakan. First you have to finish marking, mak aii rasa nk tercabut bahu dan pening pale otak menengokkan jawapan budak-budak ni. Ape agaknye yg tersimpan dlm kepala mereka ni. Macam x pernah belajar...pelik. penat rasanye train n drill diorng nih tp tetap x menjdi.....wei susoh sebenarnye...Then you have to give d marks and check the marks . Time ni laaaa budak2 tu nk merayu markah mereka bagai nk rak. Tak tau le...kadang2 rase malas nk layan tp kesian pulak, tp sapa suruh x belajar. Ish3 kalau ikutkan hati mmg lantakkan mereka tp kite nikan cikgu and seorang ibu, mmg tak sampai hati. Kadang2 tu mmg dah naikkan markah saja nk tengok perangai mereka merengek2 minta markah, Kelakar pon ade.

Then came d part where you have to key in the marks. bab ni mmg best, kena berebut ngan gang cos suma org siap d same time therefore nk key in kena book or queue. Masa ni lah bilik gerakan peperiksaan tu sentiasa ade org kalau tak sunyi sepi. biasalah org2 veteran ni terkial-kial nk tekan nombor and semak nama pelajat. banyak kali tersasul tu mmg perkara biasa. Yg paling best lagi, setiap kali nk key in markah dah lupa proses nya. tak ingat2, tak tau le peel guru2 ni. Tapi gang peperiksaan tu mmg dah faham sgt dgn kawan2 mereka ni. Everytime they will help to open the program and set it up for us....best tak kawan gini he3 .

Sapa3 yg x siap marking mmg stress giler time nk key in markah ni. Dah lah kena menyorok sana sina nk cari pot yg sesuai nk menyiapkan marking, boss peperiksaan sentiasa dtg memanggil-manggil mengingatkan markah2 yg belum settle lagi dlm marksheet. ada pulak kadang2 markah dah key in beria-ia tp  tak save kah3. KENA BUAT BALIK SEMULA.... hehehe tension. Cerita bab peperiksaan ni banyak tp malas nk continue sebab tak kuasa.....

Oh dear how time really flies.....

My anger did not subside. it went on flaming heatedly in my heart. What had sparked off that untimely incident? It was none other than a boy in my class who had rudely told me to move away from the board while i was still writing notes on the board. Can you imagine how I felt? There I was writing big and clearly on the board so that they could read my handwriting, and this boy suddenly shouted loudly for me to step aside!!!!. Hei, what do you think am I doing standing in front of the class? Posing for pictures to be taken is it? Am I not also hard at work trying to cover as much notes as possible just before the exam starts ???( didn't realise there were so many questions circling in my head at that time) Was it not me who always try to come up with spot question and answers so that these students could score? Was it not this lady that always give them short notes to memorise in case they got stuck not being able to answer any questions at all...


Then it happened. Out of the blue, a sudden realisation hit me. The words really struck a sensitive chord in my heart. I became dumb founded with hurt and dismay. What, why, how could he had said that.... I was beyond reconcile. I put my marker pen down, close my books and told the class I was done with the lesson....my last word hanging without any fullstop. It took me by surprise too that my reaction was that severe. The boy thought i was joking when I stopped writing. Yeah, this time i maent business. Those words had actually severed a major vein in my heart and it was utterly and hopelessly beyond repair...

HOW TIME FLIES.....

Wah, it has been nearly a month since I last up dated my blog. On my bday I had really wanted to jot down something but alas, time does not permit. What a joke, I did start to scribble something but I was interrupted therefore I stopped. The next thing I know, I just couldn't find my notes. Ha3 something weird had happened actually. I had actually trespassed into my daughter's blog by mistake. Of course she did not log out......soooo I just typed innocently thinking it was my blog.... The rest you will know what happened when you read my daughter's entry, kih3 klakar.

These last few days I had undergone quite a hectic life. What with the exam coming for the form threes n form fours , you have to make sure they know everything allready so that they can answer the questions when the time comes. You know what, trying to make students understand is no easy job. There you are thinking out ways n methods so that things make sense to them, some of these kids do not appreciate it at all. So a few days before exam, cikgu ni dah meletup and mengamuk. Ape taknye, sakit tekak kita mengulang-ulang benda yang sama, ape yang dia kisahnyer... Hish, sabar ajer... Actually, i do not give up on the kids, I am quite tough too knowing my age, but they do get on your nerves sometimes, or many, many TIMES....more than I can say lah.

So that day when I merajuk nak mengajo kelas tu, dia faham lak tu. Menggelegak hati rase macam nak menjerit and marah-marah tapi....